Emmett's Adventures in Babysitting
by onemoretimeplz
Summary: One-Shot.The family has gone hunting, leaving just Emmett, Bella, Edward and Renesmee behind. When Bella and Edward need to make a quick trip to Seattle and leave Emmett in charge of their sleeping daughter, what will happen? Post Breaking Dawn.


**AN: This is a story I wrote a while ago, but never posted for some reason. It's not the best, but I think it's funny. Please read it and if you smile at all, please review!**

**I don't own anything Twilight…except a shirt and the books and the movie. :)**

BPOV

"Emmett, I have an extremely important question for you," I asked in a very soft, slow manner, as if I was speaking to a young child.

"What, Bella-ella-ella?"

"Well, the whole family is out hunting for the day, and I have some important business to attend to with Edward in Seattle. I wanted to ask you if you could watch Renesmee for a little while because she's asleep and I don't want to wake her up."

"Mos' def', Bells. We'll have a great time. I'll make sure she's never bored!"

"Emmett, just let her sleep. If she wakes up, let her read or draw or something that you wouldn't do. Please," I replied.

"Aww, man. You're acting like you don't trust me or something. That's not cool"

"If I didn't trust you, I wouldn't leave my daughter with you, now would I? All I'm saying is that she's completely content with doing anything at all, whether you think it's boring or not. Ok?"

"Yes, sergeant. Ha. Get it? Like you're a drill sergeant!"

"Yes, I get it. Edward and I really appreciate it. Would you like us to bring you anything back from Seattle?"

"Yeah, I want that fireworks kit that I saw when Rose took me last month. It's almost the Fourth of July. I wanna make it awesome."

"I'll see what I can do," I replied, while silently adding, "but I don't think that would be such a good idea."

Edward and I kissed Renesmee on the forehead and were on our way to Seattle.

"Bella," Edward started, "Renesmee's going to be ok with Emmett, right?"

"Where's Alice when you need her?" I asked, worried about what Emmett might put my little girl through.

EmPOV

After Edward and Bella left for Seattle, I got really bored. Everyone left me. There was no one to hang out with! What am I going to do?!

I could wake Nessie up. _But Bella said not to._ Bella didn't know how lonely you were going to be. _But it's her daughter, she knows what's best for her._ But I never get alone time with Nessie. _Maybe there's a very good reason for that._

So, I went upstairs to wake Renesmee up so I had someone to play with. She looked so cute all curled up in a ball with her little lips puckered up. I almost didn't wake her up, but then I remembered I needed someone to hang out with. I shook her as gently as I possibly could, and she woke up. She looked scared and like she was going to cry. Uncle Em couldn't let this baby cry! She touched her hand to my cheek, showing me a picture of Bella and Edward, asking if they were okay. When I replied that they'd gone to Seattle for a little while, she got pissed! She hit me! Right across the face! She told me—in her own special way—that she was mad at me for waking her up!

"Don't worry, Nessie, we're gonna have fun! What do you want to do?"

Since she was angry—and probably didn't want to show me what was going through that pretty little head—she spoke. "I WANT to go to SLEEP! There's nothing to do!"

"Nessie, come on. I can't sleep and I need something to do!"

"Fine, go downstairs and I'll be there in a minute."

I hurried down the stairs and pulled out a craft box. Glue is always fun. And glitter. Glitter's good, too! Nessie came down not even a minute later with the cutest grin on her face.

"Ness, I thought we could make pretty stuff. You like pretty stuff, right?"

"Uh huh. But I want to show you something first."

And with that, she touched her hand to my cheek. She showed me myself covered in glitter and yarn. This kid is great!

"We're gonna have an awesome time, Renesmee! I'll lay really still so you can cover me in paint and glitter! Sah-weet!"

Ness covered me from head to toe in glitter, paint, yarn, googly eyes. Everything! I was laughing so hard when she gave me a mirror.

"Uncle Em," she said bashfully.

"What's up, kid?"

"Could you make me some food?"

"Sure, kid. How 'bout some hotdogs?"

"Yeah, that'll be ok. I'm going to play in the back yard."

"Ok, I'll bring them out in five minutes."

After the hotdogs were done, I walked out the back door, and saw Ness sitting on the ground, her clothes all dirty, just giggling her butt off.

"What's so funny, Ness?"

Just as I said that, I fell. Really far! Then the whole was covered by a big steel plate of some sort. _Where the hell did that come from?!_

"Ness! Let me out! Please!"

Nothing. No sounds whatsoever. Great. Bella and Edward are gonna be so mad at me!

BPOV

I was so glad to be home. Thank god we were only gone for about an hour because of Edward's ridiculously fast driving. I ran in the house to see my baby, and she was on the couch watching a cooking show.

"Hey, baby."

"Hi, momma," she said, completely tuned into the TV.

"Uh, sweetheart, where's your Uncle Emmett?"

"In the backyard. In a hole" my daughter said nonchalantly.

"What happened?!" I asked frantically, starting to panic.

"He woke me up from my nap," she said apathetically.

I ran into the backyard, afraid of what my daughter could've possibly done to Emmett, and found the rest of the family in a circle around what I'd assumed what Emmett's whole. They were laughing so hard. Jasper was rolling on the ground and Edward would've been crying from laughing so hard if he could.

When I got there, I looked down and saw a very embarrassed Emmett covered in glitter and everything else a little girl could think of.

"Emmett, it looks like Martha Stewart's retarded niece exploded on you," Jasper gasped between his guffaws.

"Dude, just shut up already!" Emmett said, looking like he would burst into tears if he could.

"Well, Emmett," I said with an authoritative voice and a shit-eating grin on my face, "I told you not to wake her up."

**AN: Ok. So I feel really bad for putting my other story (Sweet Child of Mine) on temporary hiatus, but it gave me an opportunity to find this story that I wrote a while ago. It helped me get the juices flowing again, so chapter 6 of SCOM should be posted soon! Please review. It'll help me get out of my funk.**

**I love you all,**

**onemoretimeplz**


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